Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Seriously?!

A few months ago I was completely flabbergasted when Michelle Duggar had her 426th child, little did I know that this little gem would come out of the woodwork and completely blow Michelle and her rabbit-reproduction out of the water.

A woman who lives a little further north of us, by L.A., had octuplets (yes 8 babies at once). Now when I first heard about this I thought, good for her, it was very obvious to me that she had used in-vitro and I am all about using the medicinal miracles of today to make things happen that otherwise would not be possible. Well the excitement around this woman kept building and she kept herself out of the spotlight, not subjecting her 3 day old babies to Today show interviews and sattelite broadcasting, although the doctors who delivered them couldn't get enough of the spotlight. They called a press conference everytime one of the babies sneezed! Anyway I thought it was great how she was trying to keep the spotlight off and attempt some semblance of a normal life. Well turns out she was not giving interviews because she is a complete and total nutjob and didn't want the whole of the country in on her purple elephant and rainbows life.



As it turns out this woman is under 35, single and already has 6 more children under the age of 7 at home. 6 UNDER THE AGE OF 7. I have one child and have already had to stop writing 4 times(I've been keeping track) to deal with one thing or the other. How is she going to take care of her litter? She got pregnant through a sperm donor and lives with her parents in a 2 bedroom house. Now I can't decide if this woman is completely bonkers or just totally irresponsible. Right now I am leaning heavily toward bonkers, very heavily. Her mother has all but told the press her daughter belongs in the looney bin and her father is jumping ship to Iraq. The man would rather go to a war torn country to find work than deal with 14 kids in his 2 bedroom house, and all I have to say about that is he must be the smartest one in that entire family. If his wife has any smarts she will be packing up her personal air-conditioner an heading east with her escaping husband.

Now the news hasn't said anything about her being on welfare which I am sure that they would have jumped all over if that was the case. So on the upside maybe we won't be paying for her kids, who knows maybe TLC will have a new John and Kate plus 8. They could call it One Psycho plus 14 Tyke-o's (I know I know I was stretching for a rhyme, I'm sure the masterminds at TLC will come up with something catchier- and more P.C.) She has hired a publicist to speak for her and the P.R. lady has released statements saying that they have tons of offers for book deals and other money making options, and you know the whole country will eat up the crazy pudding by the gallon and this crazy lady will soon be known to the world as a strong-willed eccentric single mother because if her Public Relations lady is worth anything she is going to make her into the next Virgin Mary. I can see it now, "Yes, folks, Not only does this amazing woman raise 14 kids by herself but she is a virgin and she can spin gold out of straw, GOLD. She will be meeting with President Obama next week to discuss the economy. No questions at this time." Mark my words we are appalled now but by this time next year she will be running for a government position, because that is where all the truly delusional end up.



Yes the crazies are outnumbering the sane people of the world (14 at a time).

2 comments:

Kristin Maverick said...

I am CRYING LAUGHING at this. I can see it One Psycho Plus 14 Tyko-s. Amazing. YOU need a book deal.

shannon lee said...

i know.. isn't this the most absurd thing you've ever heard? great post.. truly.. i am so shocked but perhaps that's why the whole country is so fascinated with her. no one in their right mind would have 14 kids under the age of 7.. wow that's scary to say out loud isn't it? that's more than most daycares!!