Monday, August 13, 2012

Walking the Dog

Sunny is enormous. I'm not exaggerating, she weighed in at 75lbs at her last check up. I thought she was small for a labrador, but as her Veterinarian informed me she is most definitely NOT small for a labrador. In fact she weighs 16 pounds over what she should. Woooops! I'll take the blame for that. We started her on a Doggy Diet and exercise plan and she was down 2 lbs when she was weighed for her boarding check-in last month (pats self on back) Of course she is still our Pudgy Pup but we are making progress. -side note: Way easier to put a dog on a diet than to go on one yourself.- I think we would make better progress if she wasn't such a wimp about the exercising part of the weight loss. this is how our typical walks go:

"Sunny, want to go for a walk?!"

"walk? WALK?! WALK?! I LOVE WALKS!!!! YESYESYESYES! I want to walk! Can we go now?! WALKWALKWALK!! YESSSSSS!!!" -This is where the excited jumping begins- if you've never had a 75 lb puppy jump on you, I say good for you, try at all means to keep it that way. Unpleasant. By the time I calm her down enough to get her lead over her nose (which she loves by the way, nothing bums an excited dog out more than a gentle lead... I highly recommend it if you like keeping all your joints in tact when walking a big dog) We usually have the attention of the Munchkin.

"Are you taking Sunny for a walk now? Can I come!?! I'll get my shoes on!!"

" Yes, I'm taking her for a walk, no you can't come, stay here with Daddy"


"Sunny doesn't poop when you come, she gets stage fright"

"She'll poop!!!! I proooommisse. I'm not lying, Mommy. She will poop. She will!" -this is usually when Sunny gets antsy and resumes her jumping.

" Alexis, I have to take the dog out she's jumping."

" She's jumping because she wants me to come!!"

"That is not why she is jumping. You are not coming this time, maybe tomorrow" argue, now I'll have to deal with that tomorrow. Why do I do this to myself?

Finally I get out the door with the dog, it's 95 degrees out. We get to the grass and she pees then tries to beeline it back inside. 'Not happening, Tubby, getting out was a battle you will walk.'

The rest of our 2 mile walk goes roughly like this walk 10 yards, stop sniff for a minute; I assume her sniffing inner monologue goes something like this:
"sniff sniff... hmmmm new dog in the neighborhood!" walk walk walk "hmmm, Person looks tired, I'll sniff and give her a break. Sniff sniff sniff" walk walk walk "I hate this lead, I'm going to pretend to sniff and try to scrape it off" claw at nose, dig nose into dirt, wrestle with person sniff sniff sniff. walk walk walk " sniff sniff there was a rabbit here! RABBIT!!! Where are you rabbit?!?! In the bush? rabbit, are you in there?? walk walk walk.
Repeats sniffs and escape attempts for the next half hour. The sniff-stops are dotted with points where she just gives up on life and lays down in the shade, looking at me and challenging me with her eyes. These are the moments I hate the most because my panic kicks in. I worry that she is going to have an epiphany that she is way stronger than me and just refuse to get up. There is no way I am going to be able to carry a 75lb dog a mile home. Matt will never let me live it down if he has to come pick us up. I'll be mocked until I go crazy, he'll have me comitted and Alexis will come visit once a month if I'm lucky to feed me pudding and brush my hair because I won't be able to do that with my straightjacket on. Just as I'm getting carried away in my looneybin fantasy the dog decides she's made a full recovery and rallies. We continue on our walk and come home where she eats 2 ice cubes while she waits for the 4 I threw in her bowl to cool her drinking water down. (it is 95 degrees out, the least I can do is give her cold water)

I will get her down those 16 lbs, or I will let a sleeping dog lie. Only time will tell. Look how cute they are when there's no walking conflict involved!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Who Needs a Bathing Suit?! Not Lexi!

So I've been having an off week. Lost my phone, like legit lost it. Two weeks before I can trade it in for a new phone (I was not lying about my electronic dysfunction in my previous post). So after another frustrating and unfruitful search this morning I drove an hour and a half up to LA for a dentist appointment. I need a root canal. It's only Tuesday. So here is a pic mainly to cheer me up, but also to put a smile on your face! A little back story: insert rippling effect here: A few weeks ago I took Lex to the park, in a heat wave. We have an awesome park up the street that is under a Giant shade tent. I thought we would be good in the shade, we weren't, It was a Southern California Heat Wave and I must have taken a delusion pill with my breakfast that morning. Well at the same park there is a pool, Lexi didn't have a bathing suit, just the Hello Kitty dress she was wearing. If you think a little thing like proper attire was going to stop me from letting the munchkin take a dip in the pool, you are clearly a better parent than I. We strolled into the extremely crowded pool area and she splashed and cooled for 20 minutes while the smart moms gave me curious looks. Alexis thought it was the greatest thing in the world. which brings me to our next bathing suit-free outing to The Irvine Spectrum Center. They have awesome fountains that the kids all run through, a ferris wheel, and a huge carousel (Have I mentioned I love where we live?!) We went for a quick clothing exchange and of course we couldn't leave without a jaunt through the fountains! At least this time I had a dry change of clothes in the car, like that would have stopped us! Here is my little girl, learning to go against the norm! Cheers to raising a happy, unique child!
There's that smile I've been waiting for!

Friday, July 27, 2012

I know, I'm a horrible liar. I said months ago (7, I believe) that I was starting this blog up again and then didn't do anything for it. Shame on me! I'm going to blame it on my computer and the fact that it kicked the bucket after 4 1/2 years of facebooking, googling, homeworking, picture uploading, and various other internet related activities. To be honest it is nothing short of a small miracle that the computer lasted me so long. I am slightly famous in small circles (family and friends) for having the worst possible luck with anything electronic. Worst.Luck. I am well known to kill anything that requires a battery. I'm fairly certain that my picture is hanging in every break room of every Best Buy in the country with a warning about my electronic killing spree. Case and point; my Dad got me a Kindle Fire for Christmas, I just replaced it for the 3rd time last week. I'm like that Elmira cartoon from Looney Tunes, I love my electronics to death.
poor electronics... My wonderful and hopeful husband bought me a Macbook for our 5 year anniversary. Yipppeeee!!! I now have a computer with memory so I can upload pictures! I couldn't be more excited! There will now be a new peace in the house without me cursing and threatening my computer, It's like a whole new world! that's all for now because my darling munchkin needs to get out of the house before one of us goes crazy! More soon, I mean it this time!!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Starting up This Bad Boy Again

I've been absent for a long long time, but I think it's time to get pumpin' again on the blogs. School starts up for both Lexi and me on Monday, preschool for her and last semester before my Associates for me. This semester is going to be particularly stressful with Statistics and Psychobiology, math and science of course being my weakest subjects, so I thought I'ld start blogging again for an outlet and to get my mind off school! So, I'm baaaack!